All Blog Postings by Mary
Absent Friends
By Mary Francis · Originally published: June 29, 2017
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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Sadly just when you need your friends the most, they may present problems to your already stressed emotional well-being. You’re a widow, suffering the loss of your loved one and need support and encouragement. But some friends may be critical of your decisions and have no patience for your grieving.
Because we care about them, it hurts us even more when they are unreliable or say something that hurts us. Suddenly cutting them out of your life, isn’t necessary or realistic because you don’t need any more big life changes.
If your old friends are absent than give them a chance to do their own grieving and/or to think about what you are going through. Socially people just don’t know what to say or do when someone is grieving. Reach out to them and talk to them about your feelings.
If after a few attempts they are still distant, then let it be. You don’t have the emotional energy to give to friends that can’t be there for you. Back away gradually while focusing on creating new friendships that are more supportive to you.
A growing amount of research suggest that we need friends to reconnect with our inner child so we can learn to play again. We widows need those kind of friends and not the kind that aren’t there for us. Improving your friendships will not only benefit you emotionally, it will help you to get a more restful sleep so you can handle your everyday stress better.
So, in the end, value your friendships but also be open to making some new friends.