Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
We all worry about something, sometimes, but if you are a chronic worrier, you may need some help. It’s time to ask yourself, “Are You a Worrier?” When was the last time you had a day free of anxiety? Worry is about “future thinking” and distracts us from the present and when that happens we miss out on what we have today.
“What if…?” We as a society have gotten so good at worrying that we don’t know how to shut it down. The important large scale worries get mixed in with petty grievances, leaving us exhausted.
First thing is to focus only on what you can control. Don’t try to avoid pain and heart break, we should embrace and accept our emotions.
We need to also free ourselves from the “compare and despair trap” where we worry if we are ever going to have what our sister has or be as good at our job as that person who has been there ten years more than us. Instead accept yourself as you are, a unique mix of the history, experiences and stories that make up your life story.
We can stop and fact-check our anxieties, to determine if a problem is worthy of our time, or if there are better ways to react and let things go. The number one thing is to remember that we have a choice about what we pay attention to.
The constant barrage of news gives us every detail of every disaster. Those disasters may not be in our immediate environment, but they still make us nervous. The solution is to focus only on what we can control.
While all the grim headlines may heighten our worries, remember we are in control and can unplug the news from time to time. Instead devote ten minutes to writing out your concerns so you can see what you can change today, what you can create a plan of action for, and what will probably never happen.
Roughly 85% of the things many of us worry about never actually happen. Think about your worries with the question, “Do I really think this is going to happen?” and if so “What can I do today to change this?”
Three tips to lessen your worry:
- Draw in a deep breath, and then release it. Focus on a burning candle and enjoy the moment while taking deep and calming breaths. Release your worries and what you can’t control, by focusing on your breathing for ten minutes every day.
- Don’t watch national news, especially late night news just before sleep.
- Finish your day by reading a positive book, just sitting quietly by yourself or by writing in a gratitude journal.
