In everything we do, we are either meeting our needs or we are not.  Learning to make the choices that will effectively meet our needs is a key to the pursuit of happiness and that is saying something important, when stating it to us widows. In other words, if you don't make a decision, then you have made a decision.  Nothing will change in your life if you don't do something different from what you have been doing. You need to understand the cause and effect in relationships that will grow out of your decisions.  Now I want you to exercise your choice muscles. The more you experiment with your ability to choose, the more satisfying and enjoyable your life will become. So, start now - be creative and courageous by rearranging your bedroom, cleaning out your closets, unplugging your T.V. for one day, play some uplifting music, put some clutter away and choose to get a walk in every day. Decisions come from asking yourself these two questions:

1.  What do I want to change?
2.  What is in my life that I do not like?

You are accountable for every circumstance that you want to change moving forward.  Start the process by listing five circumstances that you do not like and want to change. Finally, put them in order of importance to you, with the first being the most disliked.  Now you are ready to start meeting your needs, so ask yourself:  "What action steps do I now need to take in order to make that change?" You are an amazing lady and you deserve to be happy again.  Yes, grieve because that is an important part of healing.  But when you're ready (and only you know when you are) start taking control of your future and always keep in mind that this is now all about you and meeting your needs, not anyone else's.