Bad days – we all have them. One day everything is fine and the next everything looks grey and sad. The good news is that pain, while soul-crushing, is manageable. My bad days are fewer as the years go on, but they are still part of my own journey.

Discouraging feelings keep you thinking about what you can’t do instead of what you can do. They can stop you from doing anything except feeling sorry for yourself. But sometimes we just need to be sad and to be listened to – a hug wouldn’t hurt either. You can’t make it better because “it is what it is”. We can’t fix everything and sometimes life just isn’t fair.

Time Magazine says that it can take an average of 5-8 years to get your balance back after the loss of a loved one. It’s hard to be on your own when there is an empty hole in your heart but life does go on, although it will be forever different than planned.

Go ahead, acknowledge that you’re hurting. It’s natural, expected and even healthy to feel the pain so you can eventually heal.

Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”