It may be hard to believe, but you will survive this journey.  It's important in the healing process to believe that you will heal.  Tell yourself often, "I am alive and I will survive". First thing is to get help if you are feeling suicidal - call a Suicide Prevention Hotline at once.  Call Directory Assistance and ask for "The Suicide Prevention Hotline" phone number. Seek professional help, or at the very least someone you trust, when you feel out of control.  Are you thinking about taking actions you may regret, have a history of emotional disturbance, feelings of isolation and that no one cares?  It takes courage to ask for help. You will survive, but you have to believe that life is worth fighting for and that you matter.  You are strong enough to bear your loss - you are alive and you will survive.  It's ok to feel your fears, but it is also important to question their truth. It's also ok to feel numb and shock for awhile.  If you feel nothing its just your mind taking some time out to protect itself.  Although you may be frightened by it, lean into your pain and admit that you're hurting. All feelings are ok and are part of your healing process.  You survive by letting yourself feel and grieve.  Don't deny it, cover it up or run away from it.  Be with your pain and let yourself hurt for a while because pain from loss is normal and natural.