Widows can be hard on themselves.  I mean we all make mistakes, life isn’t perfect and never will be.  You may think that your late husband, family and friends would never forgive you if they knew what you did or didn’t do.  In your mind, the sheer awfulness of it rocks you with guilt, regret and shame. Yes, God can forgive you (if that is your belief), but how can you forgive yourself?  If you are not careful, not forgiving yourself may become a way of life for you.  It’s easy to fall into self-doubt and beat yourself up daily because you think you have let others down.  This is where, it’s important to step back and remind yourself that you are not the super heroine you think you should be. Understand how not forgiving yourself may be holding you back from becoming the person you want to be.  If you wallow in guilt for what you did or didn’t do, how can you grow?  Not forgiving yourself requires standing still, remaining in the place you were when you originally couldn’t forget and forgive yourself. You need to acknowledge what happened and move forward.  It does not mean that you condone what happened.  It does not mean that you forget.  But it does mean that you give yourself some compassion and cut yourself some slack.  Why not?  You would for someone you love, so do it for yourself.