Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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Being happy starts with believing that, as a widow, you deserve to be happy again. If you believe that you deserve happiness, you can start creating happiness for yourself.
When you look at other widows do you say the following to yourself?
- They are better at grieving than I am.
- I will never heal the way they seem to heal.
- I will never have what they have.
- I’ve failed too many times at being happy.
You may fake happiness, but do you really believe that you can be happy? If not, you won’t receive it. As you begin to require more of life, you will see the changes and that in itself is a start.
You need to abandon all your negative beliefs about your life and start embracing what you are good at, as well as the qualities, traits and characteristics that make you deserving of happiness. Having value in any one area of your life, will give you enough traction to focus on what you are still blessed with.
Here are some tips to find happiness:
- Decide on what your talents are – yes, you have them.
- Focus on the good things in your life.
- Take notes on what makes you happy.
- Live up to your potential.
You’ve got to decide, and really believe, that you deserve to be happy again. Widow need and must take time to grieve. Then when you are ready, stop beating yourself up for all the mistakes made by yourself or others. Instead make the conscious effort to find things to be happy about. Because once you’ve changed your thoughts and beliefs, grief will turn to healing, and healing to happiness.
Value other person’s opinions, but follow your own vision because no one is going to live your journey the way you will. Even if some people don’t like it, be prepared to be okay with saying, “This is the way I see it.”
Sometimes our tendency in life is to think of ourselves as passive observers – to forget that we are active participants in our lives.
