When the need is there, it is natural to do all that is required for a loved one, but later the caregivers underlying health issues may begin to surface.  If you have cared for your loved one, than all your energy and focus went into that one mission. 

As a caregiver your life may have been very isolated.  When the care giving ended you may think it would be easy to get back in touch, but that isn’t always the case.  You’re numb with grief and this new found freedom is somewhat scary.  It can be hard to adjust to a life that doesn’t have full time demands on your time. You may feel “guilty” because you can now do anything you want without worrying about anyone else or you may feel “relief” because you can sleep through the night without being on call 24/7 for your loved one.  It is very emotional and terrifying to suddenly be free and not sure if you are able to find a life again. You need to think “now what?” as you learn to be “you” again. If you are no longer a caregiver – then who are you?  It might be scary but you have to get out and socialize.  Make a list of all the things you wanted to do when you were a caregiver and then just go for it.  Dream big or small it doesn’t matter as long as you take it one step at a time towards something just for you. Don’t get back into “caregiving” for someone else that is in poor health.  It may feed your emotional need to be needed, but it’s also a way to avoid a life of your own.  Caregiving can be very rewarding but it can come with the price of losing yourself in the caring. Look into clubs, hobbies and activities that you used to do or dreamed of trying.  This is your time so don’t let it drift away. It is time to take care of yourself.  Put what you have learned while being a caregiver into use. Everyone has to travel their own journey and it is never easy, clear or straight but more like a rocky, narrow and crooked path with no map to guide us. Remember that there is no one correct path, only a special path that you create for yourself. As a caregiver you did your best for your loved one, but now it’s time to live life for yourself. To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,

Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,

Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT), 

Author/Founder of "The Sisterhood of Widows"