How do you calm down, gain perspective and get the best of each day?  What helps widows is as different as the widows themselves. Staying open to every resource you find is good, because some of the things that help you deal with your grief may take you by surprise. There are so many things we can choose to do that will help us to have a better life.  But nothing will help you if you don't have the motivation to act. Some widows seek help from experts, but first try to talk out your emotions with a trusted friend or take group sessions from organizations like "Grief Share" and "The Grief Recovery Method". You can also try exercise, meditation, walks, crafts, social groups etc., the list is endless.  It requires effort, but just about anything worth doing requires motivation, courage and the willingness to take some steps forward. However, it's worth noting that a crisis makes it very difficult to see any beauty in the moment.  A crisis instead evokes anxiety and worry along with our grief.  So, do something, anything because as long as you are moving you are healing.