It’s normal to feel some guilt because a sense of guilt is helpful in making decisions and deterring you from doing harm to either yourself or others. The perfect balance of just enough guilt helps us to maintain a balanced life.  Unfortunately, many widows experience so much guilt that they are unable to do positive things and bring happiness into their lives. Guilt can be deeply ingrained in our personality and can be difficult to overcome.  When we feel guilty we may even seek to punish ourselves to relieve the guilt by setting ourselves up to be unhappy. Feeling guilty because you did not live up to some standard of behavior that you set for yourself is not productive.  Give yourself a break and accept your own humanness.  We often set higher standards for ourselves than we would ever expect from others. The past is just that the past and you have to start focusing on the present and how you can take positive steps to minimize your feelings of guilt.  Let the crisis of becoming a widow motivate you to work on something you enjoy doing. Guilt is closely tied to your feelings of self-worth and self-love.  As you build up your worth in your own eyes you will be less inclined to be held back by guilt from the past.