If they ever invent time travel, many of us widows will be the first to line up to skip pass November and December for a first class ticket to January.  We will bypass all of the "holiday cheer" and having to be happy when all we want to do is grieve in peace.

Here are some tips to help you get through the holidays:

• Don’t cling to visions of a perfect family moment.
• Don’t travel out of guilt if it’s too difficult for you.
• Don’t force yourself to party – celebrate your way.
• Don’t isolate yourself, instead seek out kindred souls.
• Don’t spend more than you can afford.
• Don’t feel pressured to make a spiritual connection.
• Don’t attend events that make you uncomfortable.

• Do consider problems that may arise at gatherings.
• Do talk to your children about how Christmas has changed.
• Do be easy on yourself – it’s okay not to be festive.
• Do try visiting your church for Christmas support.
• Do plan out your holiday get-togethers so you’re prepared.
• Do seek out support from those that have travelled the journey.