All Blog Postings by Mary
Facts about Grief
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
Facts about Grief - "There are days I think I am going crazy!" This comment is often heard from a widow grieving the loss of her loved one. Part of the reason for feeling this way is because most of us are unfamiliar with what a grieving widow can expect to feel.
Sadness - This will be one of the saddest times of your life. You may feel overwhelmed at times. You may be afraid you will never laugh again.
Loneliness - Perhaps you have never been this lonely before. Evenings and weekends may be the most difficult for you.
Anger - Perhaps you are angry at the doctors, at God or at family and friends for not supporting you like you thought they would. You may even be angry at the person who died for leaving you!
Confusion - Grief is one of the prime causes of stress. You may experience some confusion, memory loss and inability to concentrate. This is temporary and you are not "losing your mind."
Guilty - Almost everyone finds something to feel guilty about after someone has died. It is normal to feel guilty about things you wish you had said or done. Feelings of guilt may be justified. Most often they aren't. Most of us do the best we can with our lives.
Lost - The death of the one you loved often involves the death of your dreams and the loss of your future as you thought it would be. You may feel completely lost. This feeling is often accompanied by intense anxiety over what the future holds.
Relief - If the death has followed a long illness, you are probably relieved it is finally all over. This is quite normal and there is no need to feel guilty about this.
Thankful - Perhaps you are a person for whom this death was truly "a blessing”. It's OK to feel this way and to be genuinely thankful for the person who died and for the time you had together. Gratitude and thankfulness are great healers.
These facts about grief are what we call normal or healthy symptoms of grief. Besides these facts about grief I advise you to look for connections to help you grieve. Don't feel pressured to always come up with new ideas from scratch. Instead, look for ways of combining two or more familiar things into something you would be interested in trying. Example: dancing and exercise.