When our loved one died our lives and the people in them were forever changed. When we are grieving, our friendships may experience some difficulties, but there is an art to knowing when a friendship can be fixed and when it's beyond repair.

Admit it, there are some people you are resisting spending time with. It is no use pretending that you still enjoy being with them or that they still want to be with you. You could analyze this forever – their fault, your fault, or someone else’s fault, it doesn’t matter.

For good friends, let them know that they are important to you and cultivate the friendship by letting them know you are available to them.

For other friends, by trying to avoid hurting them, you may hurt them even more. When we neglect or put off dealing with change, we just generate rumors and even more difficulty. This is selfish and cruel for both of you.

This will hang over you, until you deal with this friend. I know you want to avoid conflict but it will only frustrate you more, because you are now on a different path than they are.

Friends come and go throughout our lives and after we become widows we are much more aware of who our true friends are. When you must go another path, do so quickly and cleanly. It not only hurts you, but also them to evade or avoid the truth that the friendship has run its course.

Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows

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