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Grief journaling is an important tool, but it’s hard to get started. Start by writing your story; married life, old hurts, goals and relationships. There is power and meaning in your story.
Our experience of loss involves intense emotions, pain, loneliness and confusion. It requires an understanding of ourselves and our journey. Some widows are drawn to courses and workshops to learn how to deal with their grief. They benefit from grief and loss recovery courses – but others find grief journaling benefits them more because no strategy is needed.
Benefits from Grief Journaling
- To get clarity about changes needed.
- A method to record insights and decisions made.
- A way to release your emotions.
- To write out all your options.
- Write out what inspires you towards your goals.
- Keeps you open to new ideas and being flexible.
- Devote a page in your grief journaling to gratitude.
- Make sure you reflect on what you’ve achieved.
- Draw a goal map – Google for tips on how to do it.
- Acknowledge your fears so you can take control.
When we’re in pain, we create a narrative to help us make sense of it. We find someone to blame or blame ourselves before anyone else can. The most effective way to become truly aware of your life is to write your thoughts out. Facing our grief is hard and it takes courage, but it’s how we get to the point where we can write out a brave new beginning for ourselves. Our grief is part of our journey and becomes part of who we are. Our ability to feel our grief is how we examine our lives.
“Live all you can; it’s a mistake not to. It doesn’t matter what you do in particular, so long as you have had a life. If you haven’t had that, what have you had?” Henry James 1843-1916
As you do your grief journaling hold a vision in your mind of who you are growing to be and what you are going to do next. Picture yourself 5 years from now. If you are not taking action then at least start by writing out what you do want. Make a stand for change - write out about your grief but also set goals for the next 5 years.
As you become more of who you are (no longer part of a couple), you will realize that there is no more room for excuses. You understand that in any given moment you can stop and make a new choice – so have no fear.
Keep doing your grief journaling by writing down your feelings every night before you go to sleep. Start your sentences with “I feel… or I will…”and “I think…” as it helps to express more of what you’re feeling.
You are doing well in your grief journaling if you have dealt with your fears:
- List all your fears.
- Turn your fears into motivation.
- Grow stronger by facing your fears.
Writing out your grief, expressing your emotions on paper helps release your emotions and pain. Some days there is little to write about and other days you can fill pages. Always end your writing with a blessing for something positive that happened to you that day. And “Yes” something positive happened, you just need to have some quiet time to reflex on your day and you will see it.
