There is nothing like losing your spouse to erase your to-do list and what you thought was top priority.  Their deaths made us set aside the demands of the world. Everyone experiencing grief knows full well that it alters not only the one who grieves but the families surrounding them.  We are confronted with unfinished and scary parts of our lives. The safe ground that we once stood on has fallen away and it is an earthquake we were not prepared for.  Our identity as wives is gone and illusions of certainty has vanished. We feel impotent to fix it and often numb the pain with our favorite method of self-medication.  But this will fail us in the long term and than we are forced to face our new life. We live in an ever-changing world and what is present today will not necessarily be here tomorrow.  Nothing alters this fact and as widows we know this better than most. Here comes the challenge – to grow through loss.  We all hope to come out of this present darkness with a better sense of who we are and to even create another life for ourselves so that we can live and love again. I know you are out there, doing the best you can.  As I think of you, I thank life for you and me, because even in times like these I know we are not alone.