Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,
Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,
Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT),
Author/Founder of "The Sisterhood of Widows"
All Blog Postings by Mary
Honor Our Memories
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
There are many different ways to honor our memories. Planting a memorial tree could involve all family members and become a gathering place or a private area to relax and honor our memories. This type of memorial can mean a lot when dealing with a recent loss – it helps to watch the tree grow and remain strong for many years to come.
Invite your friends and family to plant the tree with you. This will give everyone a chance to share their memories and support each other through this difficult time. A plaque could be added at the base of the tree with a special phrase to let people know why the tree is special.
A tree can be chosen for a variety of reasons; many types of trees have some sort of symbolism you value like a special meeting place. An apple tree is a symbol of love or healing. An oak tree is most often known for its strength. Cedar is thought to have cleansing and healing properties. Ginkgo is the classic memory tree.
One of the ladies from our “Chicks Night Out” group took all of her husband’s t-shirts and had three different lap quilts made from them. She gave each daughter one and kept one for herself. They all shared their memories of the crests on each t-shirt – where he got it from, their trips and adventures.
Two months after Donnie’s death I did our monument. I put our wedding date and picture on it and had it inscribed with “Charlie Brown and Snoopy Forever”. On the back it has the Serenity Prayer and I believe the monument will share our story with future generations. I found it healing to design the monument with memories of our life together.
Three years later and I moved for the second time since Donnie’s death. I finally took that storage tote out from under the bed. After three years it was still hard to look at all the special items I had kept from Donnie. It felt like he had just died and all the memories came rushing back.
I’ve come a long way since Donnie’s death thanks to my family and friends. I truly believe that healing comes from sharing our lives with others. The more you stay in and focus on your pain the harder it will be to grieve and heal in a healthy way.
The trick is to treasure our memories without letting them stop our journey. Our memories can move us to live a full life; if for no other reason than we are still here to honor our loved ones by sharing their stories.
To Our Shared Journey,