Holidays can be used to honor our loved ones. Light a candle, tell favorite stories or share meaningful pictures. You may want to make a decoration, plant a tree or pick your own unique way to honor them. It’s also important to honor your grief, understanding that there is no right or wrong way to deal with the holidays. Ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” Be open with your family and friends about how you feel. Know that you always have choices. You can join family and friends for as long as you’re comfortable. If you need to leave after only half an hour, so be it. It helps to think ahead to what might be stressful for you and find ways to deal with that stress. Always take your own vehicle or arrange a taxi so you can leave when you want to. Holidays can be draining, so be sure to get enough rest, eat well and take care of yourself. Holidays tend to intensify our pain and can be a stumbling block while we’re grieving. I wish I had a magic answer to our pain, but unfortunately, I don’t. Sometimes, the best way to deal with the holidays is to change things up. You can try inviting someone new to join your family dinner or keep busy as a volunteer at a soup kitchen/ community project. Or, you can simply choose to ignore the holiday completely. It’s okay if you don’t feel you can handle it. You’re recovering from a broken heart and you can always return to old traditions when you’re more comfortable.