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Is Food A Widows Addiction Of Choice?
By Mary Francis · Originally published: November 13, 2020
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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Some widows struggle with feelings of grief that are uncomfortable, and so turn to food to numb and block them out.
Addiction of any kind is a sign that a widow is divided from her truth. She has feelings that are uncomfortable and so when she starts to feel anxious, she tends to turn to her comfort food.
The truth is that your grief and pain is trying to help you recognize the changes that are needed in your life. Eating isn’t like most addiction - you can’t just stop eating. We widows need to deal with our sadness and anger because thoughtless eating is just us trying to stuff down our difficult emotions.
There is nothing like living in our past or worrying about our future to throw us into stress mode. When we don’t know how to process our grief, we eat. Or maybe the opposite happens and we stop eating because there is no joy in food, in eating by ourselves, or cooking for one.
We can change this addiction by stepping back to observe it, and consciously seeking out and accepting positive change. Positive change will help you shift to being a “Watcher”, where part of you is outside of yourself so that you can see your inner addictions. Then and only then you can take the necessary steps to control your addictive eating patterns, whether it’s eating too much or not enough.
Start by researching meals for one or large meals (like stews) that can be frozen into single serve meals. Try cooking different types of food that you never would have done for you and your husband. If you don’t want to set the table for just yourself, I understand. It’s okay to eat in your favorite chair and even watch TV, just do it mindfully – eating to be healthy because your life matters.