Widows are lonely during the holidays and we often feel left out and disconnected. There’s so much hype about happiness during the holidays that it’s natural to feel the loneliness.  We can’t help feeling that everyone’s having more fun than we are, and in the early times of our grief that may be true.  Accept it for now, because grief over rides everything at the beginning.  But you don’t and shouldn’t accept loneliness during the holidays for the rest of your life. Reacquaint yourself with your hobbies, because creativity makes us feel vital and alive. Every loss we don’t acknowledge during the holidays, gathers momentum and intensifies our loneliness.  Find tangible ways to honor their memories, because it will help you to move forward. Create a community around you that relates to your loneliness and understands your grief.  Focus on others that can’t be with their loved ones over the holidays.  This will help you to feel that your part of a larger community and less alone. Lasting happiness comes from easing your loneliness, showing others kindness and showing yourself some compassion. We can all be part of something bigger than ourselves.  Focus on others, nurture something like pets or gardens and our loneliness will not take over our lives. The secret – become part of something bigger than ourselves. If it’s too hard to gather everyone on Christmas, consider a new tradition of spending the day after together.  Follow your own rules and rather than stressing over time and consuming rituals, flex your creativity and start some new rituals. In the end, just being with loved ones or good friends will help lift your spirit.  Will it stop your loneliness? – No.  But it will ease your loneliness so that it doesn’t overtake your life.