The best way to deal with stress is to "feel" it. Many of us think that if we let ourselves experience our feelings, we will shatter. But in my own life and in my time with other widows I have discovered that none of that is true. Our feelings won't break us and no matter how terrible it is we shouldn't bury our feelings. I will admit that when my husband died I had a few minor episodes of retail therapy, ate a little more comfort food then I should have and made some foolish decisions. But in the end, I am incredibly grateful for his life - and for the time we did have. Once we realize that we can survive the sadness and hurt, we will discover that our tender, vulnerable hearts are more resilient than we ever imagined.