Why do we cling to old resentments?  Widows are hurting, we have lost our loved ones and for some anger and bitterness is the only thing we have to hold on to.  We are afraid to let go of our grudges and resentments, because if we do, what will be left?  These feelings keep griever’s preoccupied, stuck in the past and blocks their growth so that nothing moves forward.  It keeps their thinking distorted and their thoughts always focused on the negative. It takes a lot of energy to carry anger and old resentments around.  It weights us down as it keeps us in the “victim” mindset where we stay tired, frustrated and irritable. Widows don’t need these thoughts and feelings that harm us – anger, fear, worry, jealously, hurt and old resentments.  If we hold onto these feelings we have no space for healing thoughts. Forgive and forget by remembering that it isn’t about you but rather about whatever is going on in that person’s life at that moment.  So instead of being resentful, show that person some grace. There are many ways to let go of these negative feelings:

• Talk to a trusted friend or trained therapist.
• Go to grief support groups, local or online.
• Write your thoughts down in a journal.
• Use music or art to release unhealthy feelings.
• Cry, scream, use a punching bag – release it.
• Exercise to work out conflicting emotions.
• Use forgiveness affirmations and meditations.

Widows can set themselves free by forgiving the wrongdoer and even themselves.  Once we are free, the space can be filled with a sense of freedom and peace.  Ask yourself if you are ready to forgive entirely and completely.  Next, see yourself forgiving that person totally and completely.  It’s hard, but this isn’t for them, it’s for you.  Get in touch with your feelings, experience them and then let all those old resentments go. Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows #thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve