All Blog Postings by Mary
Online Dating Widows
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
To be honest a lot of online dating widows consider online dating because it seems so easy when dating is a click away.
Let’s face it, we just aren’t going to be seeing a lot of dating opportunities the way we were in our younger days. We work, go to the gym or maybe out with our girlfriends (who are usually still married), but at this age where are the guys?
After years of married life, we have no point of reference for dating so we may be more open to giving online dating a chance. We know what we want in a relationship, but we aren’t sure how to get back into the dating game.
Widows are initially leery of online dating, but once you try it you can adapt quickly to how it works. Don’t fear online dating sites – they are simply a pool of resources to draw upon. Don’t accept everything you read, because until you sit across a table from them, you cannot begin to know their truth. Please don’t over think this – it’s just coffee in public, not a sex hook up or marriage proposal.
If his profile is interesting you’ll know. If you find him off putting don’t bother replying or if he is creeping you out then block him. Widows are actively involved in “dating, mating” and dating can be every bit as much fun as in your youth. To be honest, dating in bulk is work. But when we feel lonely it’s a boon to know someone finds us interesting.
The disparity in the numbers of vigorous women compared to men is such that any man who can walk, talk and chew gum at the same time, can look good. Keep your perspective on your personal values and priorities, and don’t want “it” too much.
You may also want to track down loved ones from your past. If so search all social media sites, job search sites, public records and old class yearbooks. Take advantage of your local library’s data base, listings of names, ages and last known address.
Are you a recent widow? If so dating shouldn’t be your main focus right now – healing should be your top priority. It may be tempting to forget your grief by jumping into another relationship, but “rebound” relationships can be devastating and you may end up broken hearted again. Instead, do fun things for yourself without worrying about finding Mr. Right.
If you focus on yourself, you’re more likely to meet people with similar interests and more time will help you to be ready when that new relationship does show up.