All Blog Postings by Mary
Overwhelmed Widow
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
When it comes to being an overwhelmed widow, the best way to get back your balance is to quiet yourself down. If you don’t know what to do next – don’t do anything. Get still, take a deep breath and admit that you are overwhelmed.
If there is too much going on, you need to unload before you crash out. Dump all your worries, concerns and unfinished tasks out on paper. Whatever you need to get out, that’s weighing on your mind, write it out in your personal journal.
Now highlight the three absolute, most important things that you need to take care of. You don’t need to worry about it, just highlight what they are. Put everything but your three absolutes aside – either delete, delegate or delay until a later date.
Now circle the one thing of the three that has to be done. That frees you to focus and take an action step forward. Your brain will feel so much better and you will feel the lighter load.
If you feel overwhelmed make sure you go back to the simple routines that ground you. Be still and focus on the things that work to help you be the most grounded widow you can be.
As widows, our biggest weakness is not asking for help. I bet you are the first one to help a friend or family member, but just can’t get up to asking for help or accepting it when it’s offered to you.
You are grieving and you don’t have the luxury of being isolated right now. You need help, we all do and the worst thing you can do is keep your needs to yourself. You may think you have to do it all by yourself, but you don’t. Call a friend or talk to family about things you need help with. When you ask for help, you give them a chance to do a good deed. Remember how good you felt after you helped someone? Will, now give that feeling to someone else – let them help you.
It also helps to take a close look at your life and see where you can scale back to take some pressure off. Today I want you to know that I believe in you and your ability to heal. The most you will ever get is what you ask for – so be bold enough to ask for the help you need.
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows