Widows shop because it makes them feel good and retail therapy makes no demands of them.  If there is no one at home to tell us that we are loved, there’s always our favorite store to welcome us. When we come home to an empty house we can put on our new clothes or put out our new decorations and we feel cared for.  Of course this doesn’t last and we are soon looking for our next retail fix. For many of us shopping is a form of nourishment, and we take what we can get.  It makes us feel good; it makes us feel like we have accomplished something and it helps us enhance our self-image.  And why not, after all we’ve just spent a lot of money to buy something that will improve our lives or our looks.  Why shouldn’t we feel good about that? I’ve fallen into this trap myself.  I’m a widow just like you, struggling to find my way.  Around three years in, I realized that I was spending too much time and money in second hand shops.  Sure it didn’t cost as much as online shopping or retail stores, but it controlled me and that wasn’t good. I’d get home and hang up my treasures and often they would just hang there.  The truth is I didn’t need them, I was just giving myself something to feel good about.  It also gave me a reason not to be home, in an empty house where I had nothing to do but miss my husband. The problem with this was it was only a temporary high and I was wasting my money.  The best way to help myself was to replace the need to buy things with a passion/purpose.  I started writing my book “The Sisterhood of Widows” and never looked back. The possibilities are endless for us widows, once we make the conscious decision to do things we enrich not only our lives but others also. I still shop the second hand shops but I don’t carry my cards.  It is cash only and spending is limited to twenty dollars.  I will never give it up completely because there are some days I just need to get out of the house, I need to be out and not have to think about anything but my treasure of the day.