All Blog Postings by Mary
Second Weddings
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
Like many widows, second weddings are often about the merging of two families. Those that say their wedding vows more than once, know a few things about “life till death” vows. They know by their own life that because of funerals and complications “forever after” cannot be promised.
Still, despite all that, we widows still have the nerve to try again. We may be older and wiser, but love can still blind us to the hardships of loss and light the path to a second marriage. You can make promises of love with just as much passion the second time around. Such is the healing power of the human heart.
Combining two fully operational households, means that you hardly need gifts, so instead of registering anywhere, give out a charity of your choice and ask if guests would donate on your behalf. In lieu of gifts, guests can even donate to cancer/ heart/ lung etc. research.
I’ve often witnessed the individuality and romanticism of second weddings that are anything but traditional. Often they find a way to evoke the presence of those who have died into their wedding.
If you are blessed, your grief will turn around and grab your healing heart. And then if you are fortunate to love again, smile and be brave as you embrace this part of your journey.
The second time around means you can’t hide behind romantic innocence, because as a widow you already know that married life may not mean “happy ever after”.
Being married a second time requires that you become strong enough to be inter-dependent with your new love without giving up who you are. The older we are the harder it is for two people to lean on each other equally. But we can’t share our lives until we have learned to first be independent and happy with our own company.
Widows who are happy believe in happiness. They believe that after widows grieve, they can move forward and have a happy life, with or without another relationship.
If you are considering a second marriage, than enjoy the journey knowing that mature love accepts that love can have flaws, but still be a perfect match for each other. It’s about valuing your marriage, leaving room to grow, to fall down and to get back up with quiet dignity.
If this is what you want and it feels right, then don’t second guess it by bringing your first marriage into it. Honour your memories, but don’t feel guilty as you move forward and make new memories.