All Blog Postings by Mary
Some Personal Advice For Widows
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
I’m going onto eighteen years without my husband and I have some personal advice for widows that I want to share. Over the years I have become acutely aware that widows sometimes finish last and life takes its sweet time to get back on balance.
Here is some personal advice I’ve figured out about putting one foot in front of the other while trying to move forward in the midst of my own grief journey.
. Widows have a vast reservoir of resilience. I’m still here and so are you! It turns out we can get back on track, it’s just a different track than what we were on.
. We all need that one person who really hears us. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s a person who doesn’t have a hidden agenda.
. It’s okay to cry, but it’s also okay to dwell in possibilities. The only limits are those of your own imagination.
. It’s your right to splurge on yourself from time to time. Please never lose the ability to love yourself. Do something – anything – for yourself. I promise, it will help you feel a little bit better.
. Don’t focus on what you can’t do. Kids have amazing imaginations and believe they have superpowers. When did we lose that power? We all have superpowers - mine turned out to be a hidden love for writing.
. Start walking for your well-being? No excuses – it’s free and you can find the time so just do it. Walking should be at a level that makes it difficult to carry on a conversation, but not so hard that you’re out of breath.
. The best habit I got into was keeping a journal. A journal where I could write out the good, bad and ugly of my day. A place to record my dreams and a safe place to write out my thoughts.
I could go on and on with my personal advice for widows, but I’ve saved the most important for last. Knowing how to treat others kindly is the highest form of healing, but when grieving it is difficult. I’ve learned that we have different personalities and needs, thus making it impossible to connect with everyone. So letting go of those you don’t connect with, will give room for those that you do connect with.
The key is not to look at how others treat us (we can’t control their actions), but instead at how we treat others. In treating others with kindness, we can also find peace and harmony within ourselves.