Widows have strong emotions (like anger, fear, hopelessness) when their spouses die.  Sadly we often feel hopeless and our mental, physical and spiritual health are at risk.  Even more dangerous is when our strong emotions of anger and hopelessness come together to create the feelings that “no one cares”. The most important emotion we should cultivate is self-care and the need to practice the positives – positive words, positive people and positive self-talk. We need to work at turning our negative emotions to positive emotions and that is no easy task.  Self-care starts from within.  Deliberately looking for the good things in others has a miraculous effect on our emotions.  It takes our minds off what we don’t have and makes life a little bit brighter. Never accept defeat and never accept that negative emotions are a natural part of your life.  You can and should expect more. Widows that have learned to manage their strong emotions, have also learned to create and hold onto positive energy.  Strong emotions don’t have to be negative.  You can have strong emotions that are positive – pride, self-love, faith and family. Create a positive statement to say to yourself while you’re grieving:

• I can do this!
• I’ll just get started and I’ll be okay.
• One step at a time.
• Relax, be calm, plan and just do it.

Create some of your own positive phrases and use your emotions to demand more out of your grief.  Anger and fear dwell on problems, find fault with everything and everyone, while focusing on what’s missing instead of what you still have. Even with a commitment to acknowledge your strong emotions, it’s a bumpy road and life will test you to see how serious you are about not getting caught on the dark side of life. #thesisterhoodofwidows