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When times are hard the temptation to quit is part of our human nature, but widows are stronger than that. Having said that, widows need to watch out for these negative thoughts:
- This is too difficult for me.
- I am not trained to do this.
- I have no one to help me.
- I can’t afford to do this.
- It’s too big of a project for me.
Please resist being tempted by these negative untruths. These thoughts will lure you into passivity, causing you to abandon your cause before you even give it a chance.
When you feel tempted to quit, you need to say “I refuse to give up.” Widows who are determined and diligent have learned how to make it through their personal grief, to see the light at the end of grieving.
We all know that there are times in life when it is impossible for us to keep a commitment, but we should do our best to keep those times to a minimum. We cannot allow our grief to derail us as we stay focused and committed on healing our broken hearts.
One of the biggest hurdles we face is when people reject us. You may not want to keep going, you may want to find a place to hide, but don’t quit. Keep moving forward no matter who disapproves or tries to stop you.
Though I have certainly faced my share of situations that have tempted me to give up, nothing has been as challenging as losing my Donnie when he was only fifty-three. I felt stretched like never before but I moved forward with a huge leap of faith.
Don’t long for too much too fast, but be thankful for every day that brings growth and strength to never give up. We live in an “instant” society. We want our grief to be brief and controllable. When your journey becomes even more difficult, remember that even though family and friends prefer “the quick fix”, it doesn’t exist.
One obstacle to our healing is our tendency to look at the way others grieve and think we should be doing it the same way. We sometimes think it is unfair that they seem to be handling things so much better than we are. The truth is that just as every marriage is different, so is every grief journey.
If you’re going to be committed to never giving up, you need to discipline yourself to do what is right, no matter how you feel about it. Don’t let failures or mistakes trip you up, instead let them teach you what to avoid the next time around.
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
