All Blog Postings by Mary
The Gift of Time
By Mary Francis · Originally published: September 24, 2021
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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It’s not until the death of a loved one that we stop and think about how we are spending the gift of time we have been given.
When our husbands died the question, “What am to do next?” comes to mind. First thing a widow should do is to just let herself grieve. No time schedule and no putting any extra demands on yourself.
Let yourself grieve and keep as many options as possible open to you so that they will be available when you’re ready to start the healing part of your journey.
Whether we realize it or not, we all have choices but some may be difficult to make. Please don’t confuse tough choices with “no choices”. When you’re ready to make a big improvement to your life, think big and do it. The decision may be hard and others may not like it, but be willing to take control of where your life is going.
Widows have to do all the things that two people used to do. We just keep doing everything until we burn out, lose track of our priorities and our time. It’s important to stop and take a close look at what is really taking up your time.
You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. No one is going to do it for you, so where do you want to spend your precious time? Where do you want to be five years from now?
The gift of time ended for your husband, but not for you. Don’t be afraid of planning out what you want.
- In a single sentence write out one thing you want.
- In second sentence put a target date to get it.
- Make a list of all the steps needed to get it.
- Break down the steps consistently to be done daily.
- Record at end of day your thoughts about your process.
Repeat this process for every item on your “want list”.
Example
- I want to lose twenty pounds
- Target is 90 days (3 months)
- 5 pounds a month = 1.5 pounds a week
- Steps 1, 2, 3… based on what works for you. Everyone is different.
- Before bed write out what I did that day and my thoughts/feelings.
The secret to the gift of time is breaking it down into small action times. Being in that present moment and appreciating that you have this great gift of time and you’re not letting it slip away from you.
