Widows don’t need unsolicited advice.  Please pass this on to friends and family - don’t tell widows what they should and shouldn’t do.  Don’t give her unsolicited advice or make harsh judgements about what she does do. Widows can be super sensitive so be careful about what you say.  If she wants your advice, she will probably ask for it.  A widow doesn’t need to be told that others have it worse than her or that she isn’t the only one with problems.  She knows that, but she is having enough trouble getting rebalanced and telling her otherwise doesn’t make her feel any better. Don’t say, “Your blessed because …. ”  Yes, it’s true having older children to help is great, and insurance money, his pension, etc. are all blessings.  But a widow doesn’t feel very lucky and may resent being told to be grateful.  She will come to this on her own, in her own time, but first she needs to grieve. Widows especially don’t need unsolicited advice about selling or keeping their homes.  I’ve heard of ladies being approached during their husband’s terminal illness.  Please, even the heartless wait a while before they ask a widow to give up one more thing. We widows are disoriented and for much longer than you realize we go through the motions of normality and seem to be making out okay, but we are only half there.  Many call this “widows fog” and although we may need support and encouragement, we don’t need unsolicited advice. Widows need your support and sympathy for months, even years.  Say you’re sorry for their loss, and be there to listen to all their concerns, and if THEY ask for your advice be ready to give it in a supportive and encouraging way. Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows #thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport