Marketing is setup to make us feel like scrooge if we don’t shower our loved ones with gifts. As widows we sometimes buy into the idea that our love is shown in the value of our gifts. Please know that it’s all marketing and that the holiday spirit doesn’t come from what can be bought. Instead we need to focus on the giving of spiritual and emotional abundance. Instead of focusing on what money can buy this holiday, give a gift that will never be discarded, such as money into a college fund or doing a gift for others or donating your time. You must budget for the holidays or else everything from gifts to social events will end up on your credit cards. Set price limits for gifts among family members and stick to it – with no apologies. Also, don’t shop with your credit card, instead leave it behind and take cash only. Sometimes being thrifty entails doing without, what was once known as “making do”. Being thrifty means making dinner out of leftovers. Being thrifty means never having to say, “If I hadn’t wasted that, then maybe I’d have this now.” Our brains light up when we do a kindness for someone else. And it’s the small things, from crafting a homemade stocking to making fruitcake from scratch that gives the most pleasure with the least amount of money being spent. These gifts are true gifts of the heart because they are made and given with love.