All Blog Postings by Mary
Widows and Their Comfort Zones
By Mary Francis · Originally published: September 19, 2012
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
The infamous "comfort zone."
Ever notice that in life, the greatest breakthroughs and defining moments almost always came right after we did something very uncomfortable, out of the ordinary, and stepped out of our normal day-to-day habits? The longer we stay in it, without testing it's boundaries, the longer we will stay stuck and struggle.
What holds us back? I think it's "fear." Widows are more afraid than ever to make decisions. And many do NOT have as much confidence in their decision-making abilities then you may think. And if you think they do, you are greatly over estimating them.
On the surface our fear can be discouraging, but don't let it keep you discouraged. Knowing what we are up against is half the battle. Not knowing is a losing battle. Most have NO clue about any of this. You now do. And you can now make very important decisions armed with information that will help you heal.
Here’s the problem - most widows make these decisions without much thought. In fact, most sort of stumble into their life while it’s never been easier than it is today to get up and choose a new environment.
The quicker you catch on to this and not let your emotional attachment get in the way of necessary change, the better off you’ll be long term and ultimately, the happier your life will be.
As far as the people you choose to surround yourself with and associate with, well, some of them may have to go. And new relationships will need to be acquired. Not easy to hear, but often the reality. And the place you choose to live and work, that’s easier to fix than you may think. You can live or do business virtually anywhere today.
All of these are often times just a decision. Nothing more - nothing less. It’s the meaning we attach to the decisions that often cripple us the most, not the decisions themselves…
What I also gained from the experience, was a lot more confidence as a Widow. And when you step out of your comfort zone, you may feel nervous and awkward at first, but you are almost guaranteed a better result... and you are all but guaranteed a whole new level of confidence that was not there before. And it's confidence that will heal you long term.
The #1 way to heal, is to deliberately step out of your comfort zone from time to time to do the things you may have once never considered or thought impossible. Keep saying to yourself - "I can feel the fear and do it anyways."
Pick something you've feared doing or been apprehensive to try and give it a try. Reply back on my blog because I'd love to hear how it went.
