All Blog Postings by Mary
Widows Find Joy
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
I am not going to tell you that you can simply snap out of your grief by looking for ways that widows find joy and that it is that simple. But, I am going to encourage you to start the process of healing your broken heart by looking for joy anywhere you can find it.
When you are ready to heal you can begin by considering all that is right in your life. Focus your attention on what joy you still have, and what actions you can take to increase that joy.
Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for and what you are looking forward to. Do something you love doing, spend time outside and be with positive thinking people.
It may sound odd, but by giving out joy you will receive even more back. Looking after others allows us to feel useful and gives us a purpose, BUT if at all possible don’t become another full time caregiver.
Sometimes a good cuddle with a furry friend gives us that unconditional love that we crave. If you don’t have a pet try volunteering at a local animal shelter.
Remind yourself that you matter and that you are in control of what you allow into your life (both people and events). Offer compliments to others, because by lifting the spirit of others you also get a lift.
Often we are looking for a safe place to vent and share our feelings – not for others to give us advice or a pep talk. But they may not know this so don’t be afraid to tell them up front that you just need a safe place to grieve, with a sympathetic listener and they don’t need to fix your broken heart. Once we talk it out our load is less and it opens the door to the joys that are out there.
Others should understand that this is our grief journey. We need to grieve and feel the pain and misery from our spouse’s death. Only when we allow ourselves to grieve, can we then see the joy in living.
Take time to acknowledge the people and things that define your life. Find joy by expressing your care and compassions for others, while expressing genuine joy for what others accomplish.
One final point, recognize the joy of a smile. A smile can change the world for both the person smiling and the person receiving that smile. A smile is free and it’s contagious so please share when possible.
Grieve first and when you are ready the key to joy is continued growth so try to learn something new, live “your” inspired and fulfilling life – now that’s true joy!
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows