You may have strong emotions (like hostility, anger, hopelessness) after the loss of your loved one. Researchers have begun to discover that when widows feel hopeless, their entire physical well-being is at risk. Even more dangerous is when you are angry and hopeless together – feeling that “no one cares”. When we say or listen to negative thoughts or feelings, our brains feel that pain. We have the capability to control our own health simply by changing our internal self-talk. Of course that's a lot easier to say than do when we are grieving.  But in time grieving has to make way for healing. Think positive thoughts – talk positive words – be around positive people, and your body will thank you. We have a choice about what we say and who we spend our time with. Scientific evidence is piling up that good relationships benefit your health- almost more than any other behavior. And the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. If we practice every day to be more positive, our lives will reflect those emotions and we will start to enjoy life again. If you don’t value yourself, you’re less likely to take care of your health and more likely to lean on destructive habits like smoking, drinking and overeating. 1. Be grateful for what you still have 2. Do what you enjoy 3. Connect with others that share your interests 4. Remember positive attracts positive Research “cognitive-behavioral therapy” as a systematic approach that helps people reframe their thoughts into positive ones. Some see improvements after just a few sessions so it might be just what you need to help you grieve and heal.