All Blog Postings by Mary
Widows Let It Go
By Mary Francis · Originally published: May 16, 2025
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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We tend to hold on to items that belonged to our late spouses, but there comes a time when widows let it go. You may be clinging to these items because of what they represent. Consider taking a picture of the item before you let it go. It helps to keep our memories in digital photos and scrapbooks.
It may help if you imagine someone out there that needs those items and will appreciate them. Memories are what we have left and we relish them. They help us feel whole and it’s normal to feel nostalgia about our past and fond memories can generate feelings of engagement and self-esteem. But we inherit more than memories and giving our loved one’s cherished possessions a new home makes moving forward easier.
For many widows carefully sorting through a beloved one’s belongings is heart wrenching, but in time we have to let it go. The true stuff of life is not in things, but in the world around us. Research shows that the less people value possessions, the higher their quality of life tends to be. Of course we all want the best of things, but having items we don’t use and items that take up space, can cause us emotional discomfort.
Let It Go Tips:
- Work at your biggest declutter area for 30 minutes. This should overcome the “I’ll do it later” mentality we all fall into. Don’t try to clear it all out immediately.
- If you take it out; either use it and put it back or get rid of it.
- If you haven’t worn it in a one year period, sell or donate it. Limit your closet to three colours to make your clothes easier to mix and match.
- Tools that you will never use need to be sold or donated. Tools you decide to keep need to be organized in one area.
- Get rid of large appliances and items not used; example exercise equipment collecting dust, duplicate items and out of date items.
- Don’t be a martyr. Let your kids, family and even friends move unused item out for sale or for donation.
