As our world spins further out of control, we reach for anything solid to hold onto.    At this stage of our grief we may feel betrayed by our parent, sibling or friend because we look to them to help us in the dark night of suffering but there is no quick fix, no short-cut through the pain. We seek comfort when facing our inner despair by seeking out “that someone special” whose voice, presence and listening ear brings a reassuring calm.  Unfortunately, that special someone cannot be present every moment and we have to seek out ways to be independent as we heal. Bookshelves buckle under the weight of books on grief but what is rarely mentioned is the “grief of the living dead”, the widows who have pretty much given up on living.  I know – it’s hard for widows to function when their heart's are buried with their loved ones. What develops is a crisis of faith, who and what can you depend on?  It isn’t fair, is it?  It is hard to believe that things will get better.  I know that people say the stupidest things but they really don’t know what to say to us. No one can fix your broken heart and you have a right to feel angry, sad and lost because your life is not as you had planned.  You also need to be part of the living, to be noticed and to have your feeling count. The change of seasons will help you to laugh, to smile and to feel alive again.  Give yourself a hug and don’t fall into being one of the “living dead” because you deserve better. You matter, my sisterhood friend.