My heart relates to your grief and my mind immediately goes back to the cold, lonely and heartbreaking place where you are now.  I remember every detail of that place and I want you to know that you are not alone and that you matter. You think that you cannot feel like this for one more moment …let alone for the next 20 years or more.  You want the pain to stop and it doesn’t matter who might be left behind or how it might affect them.  You may even think that they’ll be better off to be done with you and your grief.  

I get that.

I understand that like I never, ever did … or could …“before”.

You may not believe this but I want to tell you.

You matter - Your existence matters.

Repeat often, “I am alive and I will survive.”

  To not survive means leaving behind an emptiness that will shatter others into a million tiny pieces that can never be put together again.  They have already lost one of the most important people in their lives.  They cannot lose another.  You can’t believe that now because of your grief, but try to believe me.   You Matter No matter how distressed you are. No matter how much you are grieving each and every day.   You Matter And … this is the most important thing I can tell you … You will not always feel this way. I promise. I hope that you can trust me.  Your days will not always be this dark. It will not always be this heart-shattering.   Don’t turn the grief you feel against yourself.  Find a safe way to release your pain: call a friend, yell, cry, or turn to your faith.  Don’t hid your pain behind a mask of “I’m doing okay”. Do whatever you can … whatever it takes … to help yourself breathe in life… because you matter.  So just keep going - one breath at a time.