Freedom is having the ability to ask, “What do I want to do” as opposed to, “What needs to be done”. Instead of solely concentrating on others, we can focus on what we want, on what we find personally fulfilling. I know this may sound a little selfish, but by refocusing on ourselves it makes the act of giving natural and not martyr like.

What is it that makes some widows more resilient than others? Grateful, positive widows report that they have more peace and can enjoy their memories. Widows who keep track of the “good things” in their lives are healthier, and more productive. 

Learning new things, exploring new topics about which we start from scratch - that’s what gives life its zest.

As a widow I’m more honest with myself, less self-conscious and more willing to put myself out of my comfort zone. As time goes by, I realize how precious and fleeting life is.

Perhaps it’s part of just getting older, the less we have to lose making us a bit more daring. We simply don’t care as much about what other people think because we’ve learned just how little their opinions really matters.

It’s another way of saying that the older we get, the more at ease we are within our own skin. We have learned to live with ourselves – our quirks, humor, preferences and tastes.

We have learned to trust that who we are is more than enough, that there is great value in simply being as we are.

It’s just that it takes time to full accept who we are – perhaps it will take our entire lives, but each day brings us a little bit closer to knowing not only who we are but what we want to do with our lives.

Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows

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