Are you a frustrated widow?  It becomes so easy to dwell on what you could have done, what others did or did not do, and why you feel so alone. The feelings of frustration, of not knowing what to do next, having no sense of control and feeling guilty because your still here and yet they are gone – does this all sound familiar to you? I have heard widows question where their loved one’s have gone or talk in anger about being left alone.  This path is not easy, and many are frustrated widows about the treatments their loved ones had. Widows are helped when others listen to their experience and appreciate that the healing comes from sharing, not from trying to fix their feelings.

• Do you blame yourself for situations that are totally out of your control?
• Are you resentful that long term friends are finding it difficult to visit?
• Do you question what you could have done differently?

Slowly I hope you realize that a lot of other widows have had similar feelings, felt the same loneliness, neglectful friends and frustrations. In my Private Facebook group, “The Sisterhood of Widows – Private Group for Widows”, we have had many discussions about the need to understand the reactions of others, trying not to judge them or getting frustrated by their lack of understanding. It happens often where one widow helps a new frustrated widow because they are respectful of their story.  We all learn from one another and I really appreciate the sharing of our journeys. It is always amazing and enlightening to me when widows relate their frustrations that are so similar to my own.  Over the years we learn to let go of our frustrations and make room to laugh at ourselves and most importantly to not take on other people’s drama. If you’re nervous about asking for something you want or need, line up your facts so you can make your appeal with all the available details. “My future depends mostly upon myself.”  Paul Robeson “If at first you don’t succeed, you’re doing about average.”  Leonard Levinson I believe that daring to risk and tuning out the naysayers is what you need to do if you want to take a bold step forward.  So don’t fear failing.  Try again, doing better the second time and never let frustration hold you back.