Someone has done you wrong and it’s hard to understand how forgiveness means freedom, but it does.  It isn’t easy to look back on your life and choose to think of good memories after you have lost your husband.  Instead, the reality may be more like this:  You remember lying in bed for hours going over all the stupid and thoughtless things said and done to you after he died.  These memories, these wounds, remain inside your heart.  Some of us even throw the key to our heart away when we refuse to forgive and move forward. Sisters, please don’t do that.  You need to realize the importance of opening your heart and working towards the dream of becoming whole again.  You need to begin the journey to forgiveness, and it can be a long journey. You don’t go through the trauma of grief, only to wake up one day and be fine and happy.  But if you hold on to every little thing, it will only stop your healing.  If you hold on to un-forgiveness, that choice is death to your soul and over time it will rot you from the inside out.  That’s exactly what bitterness does. Real forgiveness takes some work.  It takes humility, it takes love and it takes a willingness to give up feelings you are absolutely entitles to have.  But as you know, it will only cause you further pain.  Sadly, forgiveness is often not a once and for all thing.  Every little wrong that has been done to you during your grief, has to be forgiven one memory at a time.  Some past wrong doings will have to be forgiven more than once, but then it’s time to stop future wrongs.  Put things in place so that it never happens again. Forgiveness means accepting that the ones who wronged you may never say, “I’m sorry.”  You have to forgive them anyway.  You may never hear them say that they regret what they said or did.  And you need to accept that and let it go. When the roots of anger and bitterness are destroyed, your wounds will finally heal.  You’re really doing this for yourself.  It’s your key to freedom from the heavy weight of bitterness. You’ve already lost enough.  Don’t lose the blessings in your life because your heart is too hardened to forgive. You don’t have to see them or even write to tell them.  You don’t have to make them friends or even have a relationship with them.  Just forgive them.  When you forgive, don’t expect anything in return.  But forgive all the same. When forgiveness and acceptance is complete, looking back at your old life will be like watching an old movie.  Your mind will know that you actually lived all that stuff, but it will be like it happened to someone else. So, I encourage you to keep moving forward.  Don’t hold onto bitterness or resentment and don’t confuse forgiveness with friendship.  Establish clear and proper boundaries so the chance for conflict is eliminated.