Holidays, for the most part, are times of laughter and celebration.  But if you are a widow the holidays can be an especially challenging time. Let friends and family know when you need support.  I know you want to be independent but this is not the time to distance yourself from those that care about you.  They may feel awkward and not sure of what to say or do, but they want to help you. By providing them with some guidance, you will get the assistance you need and they will be more confident that their good intentions will help you.  Let them know when you need some time alone and also when you want to be with them. You are grieving, so give yourself permission to enjoy - but also give yourself permission to step back from the season.  Our love for our husbands is not measured by how much or how long we grieve.  Most of us are fortunate to have friends and family, so try to focus on them.  Remember, chances are they are also missing your loved one. Finally, besides getting help from your friends, there are organizations and support groups that can help you through the holidays. Check out these resources  https://sisterhoodofwidows.com/grief-resources/