For widows it’s all too easy to hide behind the mask of “I’m fine”.  But living authentically is about being true to ourselves, expressing our fears, saying “No” to others when it’s needed and “Yes” to ourselves. Sometimes we get lost in our grief and forget that living authentically is what saves us from losing ourselves in our grief.  Below are some questions that I want you to answer with a simple “Yes” or “No”.

• I say “No” if I don’t want to do something.
• I let fear stop me from even trying.
• I take risks to go after what I want.
• My decisions are based on what others think.
• I share my real feelings, even when negative.
• I back down when someone disagrees with me.
• I ask for help or support when I need it.
• When there is a misunderstanding I ask for clarification.

“Life is for the living” is a saying that may be true, but it’s not always doable for us widows.  When our husbands died, it changed us.  It became extremely difficult for us to commit to living life fully.  Most of us want to, we just don’t know how.

“It’s impossible to feel light and easy if you’re holding back how you really feel and who you really are”.   From “What I Know For Sure”, Oprah

Getting old, getting sick, dying, losing a loved one – these are all beyond your control.  You can either be frightened, hiding how you are feeling or learning that living authentically (not hiding behind the mask of “I’m fine”) is how your broken heart will start to heal. Have you suspended your deepest desires in order to accommodate everything and everyone else?  What happens to our spirit when we don’t understand what living authentically means?  I think that our energy – physically, mentally and spiritually drains from us.  We end up depleted of any joy.  The true measure of a widow’s courage is deciding to get back on her feet no matter how many times she has fallen down. Write your own script of what you want your life story to be from now on.  You need to be the writer and director in your life, if not you than someone else will do it for you.  No one but you should be writing your story – living authentically comes from within you.