All Blog Postings by Mary
My Monument for The Gravesite
By Mary Francis · Originally published: November 1, 2018
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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Two months after Donnie’s death I did our monument. I put our wedding date and picture on it, and had it inscribed with “Charlie Brown and Snoopy Forever”. In the back it has the Serenity Prayer and I believe the monument will share our story with future generations.
I found it healing to design the monument with memories of our life together. I now understand why couples design it together as part of their estate planning.
Three years later and I moved for the second time since Donnie’s death. I finally took that storage tote out from under the bed. After three years it’s still hard to look at all the special items I kept from Donnie. It felt like he had just died and all the memories came rushing back.
I wish he was here but he’s not and so I’m moving again. I can’t seem to settle down and I’m always going from project to project. The other widows keep me going because I know they understand the journey I’m on.
I’ve come a long way since Donnie’s death thanks to my family and friends. I truly believe that healing comes from sharing your life with others. The more you stay in and focus on your pain the harder it will be to grieve and heal.
The trick is to treasure our memories without letting them stop our journey forward. Our memories can move us to live a full life; if for no other reason we should because we are still here and can do it.