Too many widows think that after some time has passed everything will settle back down to a normal life. That’s a myth because you are not the same woman you were and you can’t turn back the clock of life. You have to discover all that you are meant to be and be open to seeing it.

I have a sense of clarity, appreciation and love of life that is amazing when I look back at how my life was when I first became a widow.

I want to open up to life, stretch myself, and experience more joy. I want to laugh, that head-thrown-back, knee-slapping kind of laughter that comes from time spent with family and friends.

So many things are happening that are out of my control, but one thing I can control and that is how I choose to live my life and I choose to be happy.

I used to feel guilty if I was happy as a widow but I’m past that stage in my journey. Now I realize that my life is full of opportunities to share with others and receive blessings back.

You need time to grieve and I hope you take it, but when you are ready you should take time to move forward. There is just as much chance that the best will come to you in any situation, as it is that the worst will happen.

Do not abandon attempts at change because of difficulties you encounter. Do not expect your journey to change because you find it hard. Do not expect life to turn around because you are weary.

You can not change your circumstances (you are a widow) but you risk nothing by looking forward to your future, for the bright things/travel/people that await you.

Life is always changing and I’m finally learning that the experiences exist to teach me something new about myself. I am growing in wisdom and although some lessons are painful, everything has made me the person I am today.

Finally I can say that I like the person I am, my “new normal”. Now I have to make a conscious decision to relax and enjoy life. I sometimes take life too serious and forget to enjoy the moment, but I’m working on it.

Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
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