I found it hard to be a widow at fifty and sex with no commitment just wasn’t for me.  I had a healthy sex drive and certainly missed that part of married life. There is something almost addictive about the feel of another’s mouth and hands, plus it is incredibly comforting. But like a lot of women of my generation, I believe that sex without love is worse than no sex at all.  I think that it would be hopelessly dissatisfying and when it’s over I would miss the “love”. Everyone is different and so what you have to do is re-analyze the role that sex plays in your life.   Generally, we widows are not certain of the kind of relationship we want.  Sex is still the name of the game you have to play to get what you really want:  comfort, companionship, cuddling and hopefully in the end, love.  The truth is that love is so much harder to find then sex. Widows who have had a good marriage know how important love is and also know how important sex is.  But a one night stand may be too high of a price for just sexual release. Know yourself first so that you know and understand your needs.  No one should be telling you to “move on” or to start dating.  It’s important to do this in your own way and time.  You’ll know when – and even if – it’s time to be looking for sex/love. But before doing anything, I would clarify exactly what you are looking for:

• An opposite sex friend?
• A new husband?
• A lover?
• Sex?
• A travel companion?
• Short – Term?
• Long – Term?
• No Commitment?

Knowing what you are looking for will help you determine the best way to proceed.  There is no right or wrong here as every widow is uniquely herself and it’s her decision to make.