All Blog Postings by Mary
Be Kind to Yourself
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
It’s easy as a widow to get caught up in a cycle of stress and forget to be kind to yourself. The more we worry, the smaller our options and possibilities seem. We get caught up in recycling the same worry or conversation over and over again.
There is a simple way to shift your thinking and that’s asking yourself, “How can I bring kindness to this moment?”
It helps to put your hand gently on your heart and take a few deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Just three to five breaths is enough to give you the reset you need to get out of your cycle.
You need to purposely give yourself things that bring you joy – like playing with children, going out to coffee with friends or a walk in a park.
When we purposely take actions that are positive, we literally expand our hearts and see the world in a bigger and better way.
Being kind to yourself, is the most important gift you can give yourself. A little shot of self-care goes a long way. We have to cultivate our inner coach that tends to get drowned out by our grief.
Our society thinks it’s not okay to have difficult feelings, but that is so far from the truth. Widows need to be able to express all their feelings without judging them or pushing them aside.
You need to disengage from your inner critic and befriend yourself. That part of you that is negative just needs a hug. Meet it with kindness and it will quiet itself.
We feel alone, scared, sad, angry, guilty and more, because we are grieving. If we don’t become aware of our feelings we may consider ourselves weak for having emotions like loneliness, fear and grief. But nothing could be further from the truth.
Be kind to yourself – close your eyes and allow yourself to feel everything. Now I want you to see and embrace the beautiful woman that you are – inside and out. It’s time to break free of the “labels” we believe about ourselves and start repeating “I am alive and I am beautiful just as I am”.
We all get wrapped up in our worries, but it’s so important to find a way to be in the moment and be kind to ourselves.
You matter. Always have, always will.
#thesisterhoodofwidows