It's important that widows ask themselves, "What Motivates Me?"  -  "How do I go after things I want?" and "I'm I active or passive in life?" If you're not motivated out of your true heart it won't work.  Widows, especially feel bad about being active and powerful - it somehow makes them uncomfortable.  By asserting themselves, widow often take people by surprise and make them uncomfortable. If you really want something and you have only one last chance of getting it, then go after it.  Go after it shamelessly, without fear or doubt. Society usually admires go getters, but widows are misunderstood if they are too determined or intense. Learning to balance our strengths and weaknesses is a delicate task.  It takes a long time for widows to find ways to motivate themselves.  Grief tends to keep our energy levels down. In some ways we have to accept that we're going to be inadequate in new things we try out.  We can motivate ourselves 100%, but no one can be good at everything.  Some widows are so afraid of failing that they don't even try, they wait and procratinate. As a widow I understand how hard it is for a widow to get motivated, some days just getting out of bed or having a shower is a major accomplishment.  Grief robs us of our energy because we feel trapped and inadequate to create our new path. Motitivation is key to creating a life where change is healthy and failing is also healthy, because to never fail is to never change.