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The healing process is not the smooth progress that many people assume it will be. It’s more like a lightning bolt, full of ups and down, one step forward and two steps back.
If you understand this and know that whether you are “better” or “worse” than yesterday or even five minutes ago, the healing process is still under way.
- Breathing is healing so take a deep lower abdomen breath.
- Exhale fully and then take another slow, deep breath.
- Place your hand on your heart or stomach and breathe into that area, telling yourself “I am alive” and “I will survive.
Tips for the Healing Process
- Rest
- Ask for help where you need it
- Be gentle with yourself
- Only do what your comfortable doing
- Meditate
- Schedule some things to do daily
- Keep changes to a minimum
- It’s ok to make mistakes
- Laughter and friends are medicine
- Seek support from others that know your pain
- Don’t isolate yourself from life
- Don’t postpone, deny or run from your grief
- Experience the process in your own time
- Be patient with impatient friends/family
- Focus on a positive outcome
We need to grieve the loss of our husbands. By grieving our broken hearts can then start to heal. As you heal your thinking will become more focused. Your memory and concentration will improve as the grief fog lifts.
You will feel stronger, more at peace and willing to get out more often. This is where other people become more important to your healing process. You will want to get moving and trying new things.
This is also where laughter comes in, because by now you’re more open to the healing activities around you. You are not being disloyal to your loved one by moving forward and finding humor in life and even your memories can help with your healing.
Now that your grieving is softer, you can begin seeing change as a natural and necessary part of your life. Your love brought you a great deal of good and it’s important to take note of what was good. You are a better person for having loved and being loved.
It takes courage to care, to be vulnerable and to love. Praise, honor and celebrate what you had with your husband. But in time you will need to look forward and be open to new places, people and experiences.
Now’s the time to maintain a lively curiosity about your healing process and what your future holds.
