All Blog Postings by Mary
Darkest Before the Dawn
By Mary Francis · Originally published: October 11, 2021
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
“It always seems darkest before the dawn.” We’ve all heard that saying a thousand times, but it can be very true for widows. The middle of the night can be the hardest hours when we are grieving. It’s extremely hard when we feel all alone and the memories play themselves over and over in our mind.
Your self-worth may also take a hit, and you may feel terrible about yourself. Grief can cause you to have a very negative attitude about life in general. Depression can cause constant fatigue with a very low energy level so that you’re worn out – physically, emotionally and mentally.
I want to remind you of just how beautiful a person you are and that you need to fight your way through your grief, loneliness and the darkness before the dawn.
Here are a few tips to help you:
- Do whatever it takes to laugh. Laughter lifts the gloom and it is truly the best medicine.
- Go to your place of comfort. Allow yourself to be nurtured, comforted and taken care of by others.
- Get a makeover. Nothing eats away at our self-esteem like grief. Don’t wait any longer to get the nails, hair, or health you’ve always wanted. Find a salon, visit a spa, set up that manicure, join a gym or hire a trainer. Aim for a new style that is simple and as carefree as possible, so that you can look and feel good, even on the days when you lack the energy to do much beyond combing your hair.
- Make yourself get dressed each day and keep an ongoing “to do” list. When you check items off your list, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. You are doing it!!
- Try not to be alone too much. Surround yourself with good, uplifting and positive people. This is not the time to be hearing about the problems of others or being with toxic, drama people.
- If you feel like you want to give up – get help. Call someone immediately who will help you. Repeat the following to yourself, “I am enough, I will live and yes, I will laugh again.”
