There is a widow advantage, but it's hard to see the future or any advantage.  All change starts with me being honest with myself.  Why am I here today?   I need too want more out of my life. How long does it take to make a change?  One second! I know what I don't want.  But do I know what I do want? Pretend it's a year from now.  What do I want to happen to make this true?

Why do I want it?

_________________

Emotionally - Am I invested?

How?? = Who??

• How am I going to get there?
• What do I need to learn?
• What actions do I need to take?
• When?
• Who has already done what I want to do?
• What can I learn and from who?

From the book: The Greatest Salesman In The World

Be selfish - win, win.  Serve yourself and you will be able to serve others.  Make long term investments in yourself.  Believe in yourself.  Get to know yourself better by investing in yourself.  Know your identity.  One must serve yourself to be able to serve others.  God has built us to be better, to serve others.

To make a relationship work both parties have to win.

Anger does not serve us, forgiveness does.

1. Admit more - Be honest with yourself
2. Seek more identity
3. More value - know what matters
4. More choices
5. More balance in your life - quality
6. More joy
7. Be more cool, relax
8. More love - love yourself more
9. More selfish - focus on your goals

Life is for living - choice to do the work.  Give yourself credit for what you have done.  Just keep living and yes its hard, your spouse had no choice - but you do!